"But I feel so guilty when I take time for myself. It's like I'm taking something away from my wife and kids."
"So, how's that working for you?" I asked.
"So, what's the risk of making a change?"
"I suppose the risk of me changing is that others won't like me and my life will fall apart."
"And the possible benefit?"
"Ha! That I'll be happy. That I'll feel good and be more available to my family."
"So... are you willing to take the risk?"
"I have to. I need to."
"Well, that's arguable," I said. "What if instead of 'needing to' you simply framed it as 'I choose to?'
"Interesting. One is kind of a victim's reaction to what's going on. The other is a more mature posture in response to living the life I want to live. I like it."