tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46815633567749670312024-03-13T00:10:39.689-07:00The Good QuestionVince CorsaroVince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comBlogger197125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-34443536877022808512023-09-12T11:07:00.001-07:002023-09-12T11:07:57.963-07:00What would guide your steps in a gap year?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgahUCpGmmyWI9nLxM-0RpGJ_jVP6CsAAQ-JjWTQSegcuku-hn5_e2ABS4Nb3zTTm7f2PfCN2IEtphrsTRqrHOL1sHk5Pt2YytODQInNxWq_vmuFsS51dckb1T7ROz2lqaNWm-AuCZYhxg-vI4IYqpopq7Sx5QpbDFxKhUBOE9YEbuqxCmN_amTQqTftaA/s245/Man%20in%20Desert.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="245" data-original-width="160" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgahUCpGmmyWI9nLxM-0RpGJ_jVP6CsAAQ-JjWTQSegcuku-hn5_e2ABS4Nb3zTTm7f2PfCN2IEtphrsTRqrHOL1sHk5Pt2YytODQInNxWq_vmuFsS51dckb1T7ROz2lqaNWm-AuCZYhxg-vI4IYqpopq7Sx5QpbDFxKhUBOE9YEbuqxCmN_amTQqTftaA/w131-h200/Man%20in%20Desert.jpg" width="131" /></a></div>In March of this year I decided to end all of my current work
and take a gap year in 2024. It’s been a
process of letting go, handing off, and ending well. Let’s unpack this a bit!<p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">The <b>facts</b> are I’ve been working independently as a
solo facilitator since 2006. Before that,
I spent 25 years climbing through a career in organizational leadership
development. I’m turning 65 in 2024. I can cover a year of living expenses without
dipping into my retirement savings. My
kids are well launched and don’t look to me for much more than loving on their
kids now and then. Those are a few of
the facts.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">The <b>stories</b> I make up are many. </p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>“You’re old and it’s time to turn it over to a
rising generation.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>“You’re young and have plenty of fuel in the
tank to create impact.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>“Everyone only knows you in your “Leader” persona.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They may not like you if you leave that
persona behind.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>“You have been doing the same thing so long you
have completely lost touch with your earlier desires, passions, and interests.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>“Your body might stick with you, or it might
have a different idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One never knows.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>“You don’t know what to do with yourself when
there is nothing you have to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>become a slug on the couch and likely die a
lonely death face down in a gutter.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">I could go on.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">When I think of all that, I <b>feel </b>anxious.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">What I <b>want</b> is to curate a full life and be open
to the uncertain adventure. I want a
world grounded in love and belonging.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b>Is there more? </b>Of
course there is more!</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">For the most part, I have the world I want. My circles extend across the globe and in my
hometowns. I have good people around me
who accept that I am not “full time” anywhere or with anyone.
My world is diverse and stimulating.
The “magnitude of change” between my current state and any desired
future is very small. The big question
comes as I allow my current state to wind down and invite a moment standing at the
precipice of the unknown.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">What I know about myself in this is that I am almost
always optimistic. I don’t camp long on
the “Island of Victims” and have a track record of taking stock, adjusting, pivoting,
and making the best of the circumstances that are in front of me. Why I think that might change is rooted in
the difference of “internally motivated change” and “externally forced change.” Most of my transition moments have been driven
by external events. I got fired. A relationship ended. My kids grew up. I adjusted to those realities.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">This time is different.
I am creating the change. I am
bringing curiosity to what 65+ wants to look like. And it scares me. I’ve had enough health issues to know that
capacity changes sometimes in the blink of an eye. If I let go of the fear and anxiety there is
a risk that I will flounder, and there is the possibility that I will thrive
and discover a whole new path. <b>I
choose to take the risk</b>.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b>What then will guide my steps? </b>Here are a few of my ideas.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><b>Be gentle</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Live the life I am living and adjust to the
reality of a “mostly blank” calendar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Capture
learnings in the quiet moments.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Look at this as <b>a series of experiments</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Design low-cost probes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take some risk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do some things differently than I have in the
past and intentionally learn from the results.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><b>Connect with others on similar journeys</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Observe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Engage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stay curious and suspend
judgment on anyone else’s choices or pathways.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><b>Have fun.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When feeing anxious make the shift to appreciation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Re-focus on what I have over what I don’t
have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find the joy in every circumstance.<b><o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b><o:p> </o:p></b>There is likely more.
And, I’d love to hear your story.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p><b>What would guide your steps in a gap year?</b></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-13481262941947366752023-06-30T02:17:00.001-07:002023-06-30T02:21:14.330-07:00The Coffee Cup<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzAszg933kHBYCWCVgvStEu1LcRn7iXbEGPiKb1JrENOf8Zys4ace03ex8OLpQpDKSEXOP4P_w_18gWlkqdEsHVqpWoskEPZDDzIKhoW7Kg4awagfYMMktQFXuMf6CWiyhDOoiPwmqe_YE1aV8tXUGHbaUEr6V3dIlkXbFARpAZJAl3-QM7rGyvMSR_FI/s554/Coffee%20Cup.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="554" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzAszg933kHBYCWCVgvStEu1LcRn7iXbEGPiKb1JrENOf8Zys4ace03ex8OLpQpDKSEXOP4P_w_18gWlkqdEsHVqpWoskEPZDDzIKhoW7Kg4awagfYMMktQFXuMf6CWiyhDOoiPwmqe_YE1aV8tXUGHbaUEr6V3dIlkXbFARpAZJAl3-QM7rGyvMSR_FI/w200-h185/Coffee%20Cup.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>A million years ago I took on re-developing an outdoor leadership camp in the High Sierras of California. What we started with was rustic, rough, and run down. An old marine generator would put some flicker into a few light bulbs, there were ancient propane-powered refrigerators, the cabins were a patchwork of styles that served as better homes for rodents than people, and the water came from a straw stuck into the creek that ran through camp. I loved it.<p></p><p>We got to work. Built a new chapel area. Added a deck onto the dining hall and moved the outdoor tables off the dirt. Cleaned up the cabins as best we could. Dug a 1/2 mile ditch and connected to both town water and power, retiring the old water vault and marine generator. I loved it even more.</p><p>We were serving about 100 people and the two Wolfe Range ovens and griddle were adequate. We had a 1929 Hobart Mixer which the Hobart Company refurbished for free they were so impressed it was still in use. With power we had a brand new commercial refrigerator and freezer. </p><p>Unlike our bigger camp properties, we ran the kitchen with volunteers who committed to join us only for a week. For each meal, someone took on the "griddle-meister" role, "salad maker", "buffet line host" and such. We served breakfast and then everyone including the cooks packed a sack lunch for their day of outdoor adventuring. We'd come back to the kitchen around 4 to prepare dinner. And, this is the part I really loved.</p><p>If pressed, I knew I could have gotten any meal out on my own. But, on any given week, there would be 4-6 folks who had come to camp specifically to serve the hundred or so campers. These were business owners, donors, professionals, parents and grandparents. Their experience of serving was part of the magic we wanted to create. So, the question became, "What do I do with <b>me </b>while <b>they </b><span style="text-align: center;">cook?" </span></p><blockquote><blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">"Not all of us are made to cook. Some of us are made to have conversations with those who are cooking."</span></p></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><p><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"></span></p></blockquote><p><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"></span></p><p style="text-align: left;">And, this is where the coffee cup comes into the story. I would hold one. Almost always. Because, if I was holding a coffee cup I wasn't <i>doing</i> anything. I was coaching, cheering, and conversating. Sure, I'd maybe grab a box of something out of the pantry or show someone how to quickly stem a strawberry (just ask me sometime), but the coffee cup reminded me that my best contribution was not in cooking, but in accompanying. I'd get teased regularly by the cooks and yet they also appreciated what I was doing by not doing.</p><p>Michael Eisner (the former Disney CEO) was involved with us and we talked once about his book "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Camp-Michael-D-Eisner/dp/0446533696">Camp</a>" and his early learnings. Well, this is one of the things I learned about leadership at camp. I learned that "my lane" as the CEO was to accompany others on <b>their </b>journey of growth, development, leadership, and success. And, what I really learned was how much <b>those I was leading </b>appreciated it when I stayed in my lane. <b>Success became their success.</b> </p><p>I doubt if anyone notices it today, but on every 1:1 video conference call, the first thing the person I am meeting with sees is me taking a sip from a coffee cup. It's a subtle (too subtle?) way to remind them (and me!) that "this hour is about you, your growth, your success."</p><p><b>So, when are you cooking, and when might you be better holding The Coffee Cup?</b></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-9561524412054992952023-04-29T17:07:00.002-07:002023-04-29T17:07:32.676-07:00Stressful Week?<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7Yl_rMib4NUsU1PblI0YjWB_O6-nBcaRoqigYbsI1ClU4l46bhm_A2waiDFC_Jq-wgEsrWzQnOcycVg17gczTXmemKyTSTiNgIdQbpSmKJhjT9CMwxigh_AgHiv2kKH2R-tXNHnApkJWXDhSfUdiIoIm3GAPrdE1lfko-tnVMoa6QRd28DJ79SoP/s2016/69931227416__A4F0513F-6C2D-4B3D-B572-1D3C2B8BEF72.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7Yl_rMib4NUsU1PblI0YjWB_O6-nBcaRoqigYbsI1ClU4l46bhm_A2waiDFC_Jq-wgEsrWzQnOcycVg17gczTXmemKyTSTiNgIdQbpSmKJhjT9CMwxigh_AgHiv2kKH2R-tXNHnApkJWXDhSfUdiIoIm3GAPrdE1lfko-tnVMoa6QRd28DJ79SoP/w150-h200/69931227416__A4F0513F-6C2D-4B3D-B572-1D3C2B8BEF72.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>This week was exhausting. I feel depleted. Last minute additional travel with venue changes. Challenging group. Very little down time. Eating and drinking a bit off the rails.</div><div><br /></div><div><i><b>What do I know when I am feeling this way?</b></i></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Best to only make decisions that must be made right now.</li><li>Gentleness goes a long way. Be gentle.</li><li>Take time to slow down. Breathe. </li><li>Take a walk. Get a good workout.</li><li>Do some simple tasks like laundry and grocery shopping.</li></ul></ul></ul></ul></ul><div>While it is not always pretty, these work for me. <b>How about you?</b></div></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>V</div><div><b><br /></b></div>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-22278189357364183532023-03-31T06:36:00.005-07:002023-04-03T09:06:03.075-07:00When I'm 64<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil2hiHVsJrNvVNx3gohiF-NJJ28m7NzdMoWqS9T54RljlZsPG8U3FqJh6wsvf_s5nq2BNK-E2ENCjUKABj-kV0c1P87R961yoU-rkltAkOxwKf8oVcnHUyxKqCl5tQJp0HV_scBhueyImPWiAfCizABRDQxKkqoJzeHRI8lInrAI3t2vz0OO6baXC7/s1280/maxresdefault.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil2hiHVsJrNvVNx3gohiF-NJJ28m7NzdMoWqS9T54RljlZsPG8U3FqJh6wsvf_s5nq2BNK-E2ENCjUKABj-kV0c1P87R961yoU-rkltAkOxwKf8oVcnHUyxKqCl5tQJp0HV_scBhueyImPWiAfCizABRDQxKkqoJzeHRI8lInrAI3t2vz0OO6baXC7/w239-h135/maxresdefault.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>It was the summer of 1971. Kim Stamper and I were in a summer school theatre production and sang the Beatles' <i>"When I'm 64". </i>You remember the lyrics... "...When I get older losing my hair many years from now..." and finally, ..."Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64??" Kim pinged me on Facebook last year when she turned 64. <p></p><p>And now, it's here for me. <b>What's my reflection?</b></p><p>I've eaten caviar in a foreign ministry and searched for a mysterious Bao Bao tree on the African Savannah. I've served meals hanging out in a homeless center and BBQ'd for 600 to support a friend on his cancer journey. I've been to a wet market in China and been offered drugs on the streets of Jamaica. I've wandered the ancient Sikh in Amman and gotten lost in the Scottish Highlands. Played with cutting edge robotics and seen the Dead Sea scrolls. Done scavenger hunts in San Juan and Frisco, and trespassed on a military base to float the Salinas. I've seen James Taylor in every decade and a salon quartet in Vienna. Walked the Silk Road in the Caucasus and topped a dozen 14'rs in Colorado.</p><p>And... it's not the places. It's the people.</p><p>Family. Rec Lab. The Y. YPO. My Colorado and Palm Springs Tribes. Partners. Neighbors. Lifelong friends. Even when on the road alone, it's always the people who are most memorable. The Muslim shop owner in Jerusalem sitting down for a coffee and sharing his story. The guy in Revelstoke jumping on his mountain bike to ride his favorite trail together. The fellow surf hosteller in Eraceira and the AirBnB host in Belfast. The couple from Melbourne learning Italian in Taormina and the owner of the French Winery passing through the desert on New Years. The Sicilian Gang in Sciacca and the Villa Roca crew in Costa Rica. </p><p>It's always about the people.</p><p>Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64? The evidence says, yes! And I love you all.</p><p>Coming up... By the end of the year, an ending to all of my current work and then an intentional gap year to see what kind of good trouble gets stirred up for 65 and beyond. It's going to be fun. </p><p>Onward!</p><p>V</p><p><br /></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-50471138065821916672022-12-27T16:45:00.000-08:002022-12-27T16:45:17.613-08:00What Did I Learn?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio83EfHp25G73DZd2WegXClgqNUJTbCbQqKN4mwfibFwNZI2a1BOZ-PdXHqDy2Jc_NPqUO9HveLWCr1oOfjAE3uXe1mVXFlVY9HQniF2kVrUizjMIqSx9KKsTdrquJw1OzxzU6MjJxDkuWZ1_lLaaQOBh3UecbP_gGLjiS2xzT0Mx92DaCJl8hLEA-/s1005/Penguins%20in%20Love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="868" data-original-width="1005" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio83EfHp25G73DZd2WegXClgqNUJTbCbQqKN4mwfibFwNZI2a1BOZ-PdXHqDy2Jc_NPqUO9HveLWCr1oOfjAE3uXe1mVXFlVY9HQniF2kVrUizjMIqSx9KKsTdrquJw1OzxzU6MjJxDkuWZ1_lLaaQOBh3UecbP_gGLjiS2xzT0Mx92DaCJl8hLEA-/w200-h173/Penguins%20in%20Love.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The young couple were getting together to plan for their wedding and marriage. They both are committed to conscious and clear communication so they asked if I would guide them through some conversations to gently pressure test their relationship. "Sure!", I said. I love this stuff.<p></p><p>But then, they said, "But we want to celebrate! We don't always want it to be just about the hard stuff!"</p><p>I could have been offended. I've been told many times that having me around is hard. And, I took their comment to heart.</p><p>While I've known about the idea of "Appreciative Inquiry" for a long time, I have just recently integrated it into every relationship check in. It's simple. Even when there are glaring areas for improvement, we can start in a place of appreciation. </p><p></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"What are you accomplishing?" </li><li>"What are you feeling really good about?" </li><li>"What did you get across the finish line?" </li></ul>Any of these questions shift us to a place of appreciation which then provides an opportunity for a bunch of other good questions:<br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>What are we learning in these successes?</li><li>What would an outside observer say were the key success factors?</li><li>What positive behaviors did we bring to the table?</li></ul><div>And then, from a place of appreciation, the conversation can shift to look at areas where we are not as satisfied.</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Where are we stuck?</li><li>Where did we not get it done?</li><li>What can we learn from our successes that might help us make a shift?</li></ul>My desire is to capture learnings anytime I've done something well. And then, use those learnings to give myself a boost in the areas where I feel stuck or blocked.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the weekend, they said, "That wasn't so bad, Vince. Thanks."</div><div><br /></div><div>Onward!</div><div><br /></div><div>V</div><p></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-44649942657898667002022-12-06T09:38:00.000-08:002022-12-06T09:38:17.424-08:00Am I Listening?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZklIXtykiYzhXst85W-9ozzI_mCPRD2yyXEegHj-Oy2uXUh2HWewn49A1DPyqN7CALDXtjBZWlM0YoWGjq61inwOOLOWn_T7qVoASQHwDImkoKmkgzg8Nqv1nIlSvoC_g9XjLSb1y6PByvP77PQmosaMFr2YIEOqPc9VAqIFWk85xZlhKW7GrphEv/s2486/Listening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1489" data-original-width="2486" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZklIXtykiYzhXst85W-9ozzI_mCPRD2yyXEegHj-Oy2uXUh2HWewn49A1DPyqN7CALDXtjBZWlM0YoWGjq61inwOOLOWn_T7qVoASQHwDImkoKmkgzg8Nqv1nIlSvoC_g9XjLSb1y6PByvP77PQmosaMFr2YIEOqPc9VAqIFWk85xZlhKW7GrphEv/w200-h120/Listening.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>A while back, someone said to me, “Wow, Vince, you’re
such a good listener!” It made me wonder
what it’s like to be a bad listener! So,
I asked some folks. Here are some
headlines for what I have learned about <b>Egregiously Bad Listening:</b><p></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I’m here to Fix You</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">(No matter what you say, I have the solution.)</span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Make it All About Me</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">(You think you have it bad!</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Let me tell you about my life…)</span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Should on You</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">(You shouldn’t feel that way!</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">You shouldn’t think that!</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">There is something wrong with you!)</span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Isn’t that Sweet? </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">(You obviously don’t understand what’s really
going on).</span></li></ul><p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p>And the list could go on.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p>I tend to know that I am listening by what comes out of
my mouth <b><u>after</u></b> the speaker finishes. There’s a good chance I’ve been listening
well when my response starts with any of these phrases:</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><o:p>"</o:p><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It sounds like you…”</span></li><li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">“It makes sense that you would feel…”</span></li><li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">“Let me see if I’m understanding you…”</span></li></ul><p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p>I can also check! <b>“Did
I get that right?”</b></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b><o:p> </o:p></b><b>What do you think?</b></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><b><o:p> </o:p></b>Onward!</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p>V</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-33646261482857894212022-05-01T06:32:00.002-07:002022-05-01T06:32:39.764-07:00What Picture Are They Holding of You?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOd3PB6q2Y9ZJmqEzrKuDnW532MN5ODoTtpgFVAyxLXAvNVwDngw6W64hr2wKuo-LCNpfroBRhWrO64yMgb03Wc_r3_VjzDt6wmDQ-fKkw5zZM06eWTHefmWmtYg2o0hkgIgqsA3tz8dKh_SdI9n8vKpsC47DqGkGuMIYDFUulQCFKAC9RpUoxEwOY/s1744/19850003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1744" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOd3PB6q2Y9ZJmqEzrKuDnW532MN5ODoTtpgFVAyxLXAvNVwDngw6W64hr2wKuo-LCNpfroBRhWrO64yMgb03Wc_r3_VjzDt6wmDQ-fKkw5zZM06eWTHefmWmtYg2o0hkgIgqsA3tz8dKh_SdI9n8vKpsC47DqGkGuMIYDFUulQCFKAC9RpUoxEwOY/s320/19850003.jpg" width="220" /></a></div>During a recent forum retreat I shared about a relationship that has had its ups and downs in my life. It's been a long time since I've felt close and comfortable with the person in question. Even though I was noting some recent interactions that were very positive, I was reluctant to determine that the relationship was "close."<p></p><p>A member in the group asked me a question that struck a chord. "Vince, it sounds like you are assuming that the other person is holding an old picture of you. It doesn't sound like you've let their perceptions of you evolve. <b>I wonder what picture they are holding of you today?</b>"</p><p>What?!? Let me unpack this.</p><p>Sometimes, when I am believing something to be true (in this case, how I am being viewed by someone), no amount of contrary evidence can alter the belief. I cling to the certainty of my belief. On the other hand, when I'm open to challenging the long-held belief, all the evidence can be put in the balance and I can choose a new belief. I teach this stuff! Damn.</p><p>Another opportunity to have a look, let go, accept myself, update the belief, and continue the journey.</p><p>Onward!</p><p>V </p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-88489464588013576532022-03-30T15:21:00.001-07:002022-12-05T19:52:45.541-08:00What does the Label Say?<div style="text-align: left;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt7I2MSWE7Vcj_AbZoTimIkVkfh70lGoEnjMOpObOxkO4JHfKFqE0QL7Cbww_WgyukR1NyEBDK8ufFHG3Twt-5D9uy_uGMCb-M757I_bpeCX5KCBpgYyeX6P9pFWpwpOLCBA_-fj0WrliZLU3Sxn1stEn-sVddDAxomcvQ2vSU4kK2CaaFvi_YQYes/s500/DE434843-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="348" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt7I2MSWE7Vcj_AbZoTimIkVkfh70lGoEnjMOpObOxkO4JHfKFqE0QL7Cbww_WgyukR1NyEBDK8ufFHG3Twt-5D9uy_uGMCb-M757I_bpeCX5KCBpgYyeX6P9pFWpwpOLCBA_-fj0WrliZLU3Sxn1stEn-sVddDAxomcvQ2vSU4kK2CaaFvi_YQYes/w139-h200/DE434843-2.jpg" width="139" /></a></div><br />Labels are powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>On a cereal box, they tell you what’s inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a person, it’s a different story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">
</span><br />
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">Sometimes labels can build us up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Empower us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Help us to believe in ourselves and our capacities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But sometimes, labels tear us down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make us small.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both kinds tend to stick.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">
</span><span face="Verdana, sans-serif"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: center;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif"></span> <span face="Verdana, sans-serif">“I'm selfish.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: center;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">"I'm </span>not a good friend." </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: center;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">“I'm lazy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">These are the labels people tell me they live with. Yuck!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When confronted with an old label, I almost always ask <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“Where did you learn that?” </b>and then
get ready for a story from long ago that certainly may have had some truth in
that moment, but has little to do with the person standing before me.</span><br />
<br />
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif">The “I'm Selfish” one really kills me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People with this label suffer under an
onslaught of internal judgment and criticism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And the sad part?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if they do
something totally self-less, altruistic, kind, or nice, they are immediately
subject to an internal message that says, “Oh, that’s good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve put on a nice show today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But don’t forget, you’re selfish.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be very difficult to let go of old
labels.</span><br />
<br />
<span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span face="Verdana, sans-serif">I like the idea of self-definition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it’s a good idea to get curious about
our labels, our identities, and be conscious of which to keep and which to let
go of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much of our identity is given to us… gender,
family of origin, specific wiring, gifts, and talents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, an awful lot of our identity is also
given to us by imperfect people in very imperfect ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But guess what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can give an old or untrue identity
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t have to keep it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can let it go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peel the label off the box and make a new
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;">Onward!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;">V</div>
Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-81393424221536816942022-01-30T12:26:00.001-08:002022-12-05T19:56:46.469-08:00What are You Reading?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAzafvVp1LhWfjd7w-ZY9l5iE2F124imAvedNvUMsrorjdFm_fDsm6QERZ30i_znAMHhY-CAvBrP1w20vjJzXtkP6h23fMN8Q1NSeJv3_4V4rhNKqxvdq8oimmczv5WRAPIc8OxHF-oMY3XT8ds4QJ63MlHH1zp3vlDb-h-hxUSTUAsBRlwoxx4w5z/s4032/IMG_1489.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAzafvVp1LhWfjd7w-ZY9l5iE2F124imAvedNvUMsrorjdFm_fDsm6QERZ30i_znAMHhY-CAvBrP1w20vjJzXtkP6h23fMN8Q1NSeJv3_4V4rhNKqxvdq8oimmczv5WRAPIc8OxHF-oMY3XT8ds4QJ63MlHH1zp3vlDb-h-hxUSTUAsBRlwoxx4w5z/w150-h200/IMG_1489.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br />A million years ago, a colleague admonished a group of us that "<b>YOU MUST READ TO LEAD."</b> I put that in all caps because he was a really big guy with a powerful presence. In any event, I took his comment to heart and remember it all these years later. <p></p><p>I get asked the question regularly, "<b>So, what are you reading Vince?" </b>And, while I comment about books here and there, I've never done a "Top 5", so here you go:</p><p>1. "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/15-Commitments-Conscious-Leadership-Sustainable/dp/0990976904/ref=asc_df_0990976904?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80745437135150&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584345016029177&psc=1" target="_blank">15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success."</a> Okay. I read this one a long time ago (2016) but it continues to guide the way I think and approach life every day. The idea of continually shifting to a place of maturity, curiosity, openness, candor, and 100% responsibility is simply foundational to my life. You can learn more at <a href="http://www.conscious.is" target="_blank">www.conscious.is</a>. Buy the book though. </p><p>2. "<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/100-Year-Life-Living-working-longevity/dp/1472930150/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457093637&sr=8-1&keywords=100-year+life" target="_blank">The 100-Year Life: Living and Working in an Age of Longevity</a>" A really good read (maybe the individual case studies are a bit long). The Big Idea is to decouple ourselves from the conventional three-stage life (childhood, work, retirement) and embrace a much broader definition of the tangible and intangible assets we hope to derive and deploy during our stay here. A cool diagnostic is available at the <a href="https://www.100yearlife.com/" target="_blank">100-Year Life</a> website.</p><p>3. "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Up-Questions-Shift-Nothing/dp/0359829643" target="_blank">Waking Up: 8 Questions That Will Shift Your Life (Or Help You Do Nothing)</a>" Someone shared the story once of being reluctant to vote for themselves in an elementary school student council election. The teacher admonished that is was perfectly appropriate to vote for yourself! And, the individual won by one vote. In any event, you likely know that I wrote this one. Think of it as a three-hour coffee together. AND, I think "<i>Unpacking Anything</i>" and "<i>Getting to a Conscious Commitment</i>" is solid and worth having in your toolbelt. </p><p>4. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/80-Marriage-Happier-Stronger-Relationship/dp/1984880772/ref=asc_df_1984880772?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80195744389229&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583795274204200&psc=1" target="_blank">"The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship"</a> This one was actually published in 2021. Nate and Kaley open up all kinds of great territory to move from a doctrine of fairness in relationship to one of radical generosity. I did a blog post a few months ago when it came out. Get it.</p><p>5. Anything by <a href="https://simonsinek.com/" target="_blank">Simon Sinek </a>or <a href="https://brenebrown.com/" target="_blank">Brene Brown</a>. Simon's "Leaders Eat Last" pairs well with any of his videos on the "Circle of Safety", "Start with Why" or any of his other big ideas. And Brene' continues to knock it out of the park with her podcasts and published books. </p><p>Is there more? Sure. Drop me a note at vince@corsarodevelopment.com with any specific genre request or question. Happy to share.</p><p>Onward!</p><p>V</p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-88784946548869197642021-10-12T01:32:00.005-07:002021-10-12T01:32:58.211-07:00Virtual Or Live?<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6CZHXZ_GDurlLhi8Xj-IL6ea4LpkQJV0jAxJ_La6FyFJ6Vib8wLVu3p1x3qffxbUngxj3N66Dph86x3-71oFw8L-CGTqAUk882lplCQxhOH-eK2ljazZ-oliSKSnupkE6LUTxtnXBYM8/s989/Rec+Lab+Fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="571" data-original-width="989" height="116" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6CZHXZ_GDurlLhi8Xj-IL6ea4LpkQJV0jAxJ_La6FyFJ6Vib8wLVu3p1x3qffxbUngxj3N66Dph86x3-71oFw8L-CGTqAUk882lplCQxhOH-eK2ljazZ-oliSKSnupkE6LUTxtnXBYM8/w200-h116/Rec+Lab+Fire.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table>When the Pandemic first hit, most of us made an instantaneous pivot to 100% virtual communication. We learned how to Zoom, Hangout, Meet in Teams, Circle, and likely live on a half dozen other video-based platforms. We know "Zoom Fatigue" and we've experienced both really cool moments and likely some dreary ones as well.</p><p>So, how then shall we now live? Here's my going-forward thought: <b><i>What if we only </i></b><b style="font-style: italic;">do live that which we can't do virtually?</b> What this means to me:</p><p>1. We maximize our effectiveness in virtual and asynchronous communication. We develop mastery in remote work. </p><p>2. We learn how to have difficult conversations virtually, and we let go of fears around not being able to connect authentically.</p><p>3. We accept the tremendous gift of time that virtual work has afforded us by reducing all kinds of travel.</p><p>AND IMPORTANTLY,</p><p>4. We master and maximize our live gatherings to focus on HOW we're working together. We use the time to build relationships, sit around the fire, share a meal, connect as people first.</p><p>I know I have a significant bias here. I've been pulling people together for meaningful group experiences for a long time and always fight for the relational side of things while my groups typically want to simply focus on the content of their work. It's okay! What many are learning is that much of our content work can be done virtually, but you just can't replace the fireside chat on a Zoom screen.</p><p>Let's not make it an "either/or" but a "both/and" with the positive intent of maximizing our experience whether it is in virtual space or live. </p><p>What do you think?</p><p>Onward!</p><p>V</p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-57611052847312847862021-05-24T11:15:00.002-07:002021-05-24T11:45:56.894-07:00Is it Fair?<p>A million years ago I was invited to join the Rotary Club
of Chino, California. After a couple
years I moved to a new town, joined the Club there, served as Club President
for a year followed by many years as Club Treasurer.
Rotary was an important part of my early career life and I stayed
involved enough to be recognized as “Senior Active” when I was only 42.</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p> </o:p>The <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four-Way_Test"><b>“Four Way Test”</b></a>
was a key guiding principle in Rotary for all the things we do, think, or
say. “Is it the truth?” “Is it fair?” "Will it build goodwill and better friendships?” And finally, “Will it be beneficial to all
concerned?” These all sounded like good
questions to ask. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQ5cqWmXDECEDAtj1AKB-LLhI-espba9YXVS9KGCNFAHflC19dLJ79ZQSSmtvJAtG3mZXV3jOG9Tyrv0EtbkCgkzwyw2FbIJMncT8tuJGvy2wZDlXtBBORqjvNxsLzoIwkjFcA1nicus/s700/R067d007963dc0adb69748a12557b4559.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQ5cqWmXDECEDAtj1AKB-LLhI-espba9YXVS9KGCNFAHflC19dLJ79ZQSSmtvJAtG3mZXV3jOG9Tyrv0EtbkCgkzwyw2FbIJMncT8tuJGvy2wZDlXtBBORqjvNxsLzoIwkjFcA1nicus/w200-h200/R067d007963dc0adb69748a12557b4559.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>And then, my two good friends Nate and Kaley Klemp wrote
a book, “The 80/80 Marriage” and it challenged my beliefs around the Four Way
Test. When I take a step back and think
about it, <b>“Is it Fair?”</b> may not be the best question if the desire is a
healthy relationship. An aspiration of
fairness implies a score, a ledger, an accounting. How do we really do that in
relationships? Does planning and
preparing a great meal equate to fairness if the other partner took out the
trash, made the bedroom look great, and took care of the bills for the
month? Who knows? And really, who cares?!<p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">A Big Idea from Kaley and Nate’s book is the idea of
radical generosity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if instead of
fairness, or some sort of 50/50 equation, both people in a relationship aspire
to pour in 80%?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do things
change?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me, it starts with a change
in mindset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means letting go of
fairness as the target and replaces that with a desire to contribute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to contribute to the success of this
relationship!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, <b>“Is it Fair?”</b>
can then be replaced with, <b>“What would generosity look like here?”</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">What do you think?</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Onward!</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">V</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><o:p></o:p></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-35532556602485316082021-02-06T07:14:00.002-08:002021-02-06T07:18:56.099-08:00Optimism. Is it good?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ21xVh3k4BJ59qR8sKxB8YnYMJJwZ_9lTjtqKALOhlkw2g3DbK-bqi7mz4xCqb6sD43NYu_yohMLc05jS4QNGpe5bnu636qvZYv7-04dXfbmyRT-40wb7VDKQD8QlR4-e6SVbwYNFgY8/s1280/IMG_2517.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1174" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ21xVh3k4BJ59qR8sKxB8YnYMJJwZ_9lTjtqKALOhlkw2g3DbK-bqi7mz4xCqb6sD43NYu_yohMLc05jS4QNGpe5bnu636qvZYv7-04dXfbmyRT-40wb7VDKQD8QlR4-e6SVbwYNFgY8/w184-h200/IMG_2517.jpg" width="184" /></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve been accused of being an eternal optimist and it occurs
to me that I don’t really know what that means!</span><p></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Is optimism synonymous with a “rose colored glasses” view
of the world? A Pollyanna perspective? The
unrealistic or impossible?</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Technically, optimism is defined as a <b>“</b><span style="color: #111111;"><b>hopefulness and confidence about the future or
the successful outcome of something.”
</b>There is also a broader definition set forth by the 18<sup>th</sup> Century
philosopher Gottfried Leibniz that “this world is the best of all possible
worlds” and the belief that good must ultimately prevail over evil in the
universe.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #111111;">So, I’ll go with
it.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">I’m a proud optimist.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">Accuse me all day long.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">I will find hope in almost any circumstance
and I do believe that love wins.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #111111;">And, I believe that
optimism can be learned if we are open to it.</span><span style="color: #111111;">
</span><span style="color: #111111;">We can choose a victim story of failure and loss, or we can choose a
story of openness to learning, self-responsibility, and growth.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">I choose the latter.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;"><b>Are you with me?</b></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #111111;">Yesterday I was skiing
in what I will call “butt cold” conditions.</span><span style="color: #111111;">
</span><span style="color: #111111;">In fact, my butt was cold!</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">It was
not only snowing but the humidity was higher than normal Colorado conditions
and the cold seeped in at every opportunity.</span><span style="color: #111111;">
</span><span style="color: #111111;">In another time of my life, I would have beat myself up with an old
tape, “you suck at being adequately prepared in the outdoors.”</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">I hadn’t eaten anything in the morning. </span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">The gloves I was wearing were more suited to a
sunny spring day than a bitter cold one.</span><span style="color: #111111;">
</span><span style="color: #111111;">I had tried a different set of leg layers and they didn’t work well.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">I could have rolled an old tape of
criticism.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">Instead, I noticed myself
taking a more optimistic view!</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">“You can keep
some hand warmers in your kit bag.”</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">“You
know how to provide fuel for your body.</span><span style="color: #111111;">
</span><span style="color: #111111;">What can we learn from today?”</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">“Maybe
compression tights aren’t the best base layer on cold days,” and on and on.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #111111;">When we shift from
failure as a total loss to failure or difficulty as a temporary and specific
condition, it opens the field up to learn, take responsibility, and make
specific changes in our behaviors going forward.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">It worked for me yesterday.</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">And today, I’m staying in by the fire.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #111111;">More?</span><span style="color: #111111;"> </span><span style="color: #111111;">Check out this article on <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BmCp7oqcO5ZlnHPQjxFq_s2kFhNiHIlV/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">Learned Optimism</a>.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Onward!</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">V</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span face=""Helvetica",sans-serif" style="color: #444444; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a></a></span><o:p></o:p></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-14646174863744789062020-11-26T08:11:00.003-08:002020-11-26T08:11:18.775-08:00The Much Bigger Story<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSq9f95Kx1pEuV2jklNUDZDS33ejaSLOx7Gd8g5849_SY9q8BjhzM7qpd_1otEfeXVxcc98jewg80wb-UPhvVApgfkLlN1CeLWB1Wn7LaZC1M5aFrSQDHDMT8-ya2hFe5CBDXxQxA6Mjw/s1024/The+Big+Story.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSq9f95Kx1pEuV2jklNUDZDS33ejaSLOx7Gd8g5849_SY9q8BjhzM7qpd_1otEfeXVxcc98jewg80wb-UPhvVApgfkLlN1CeLWB1Wn7LaZC1M5aFrSQDHDMT8-ya2hFe5CBDXxQxA6Mjw/w200-h150/The+Big+Story.png" width="200" /></a></div>I just LOVE history professor Heather Cox Richardson’s daily <a href="https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/november-25-2020?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=copy" target="_blank">“Letters from an American.” </a>Today’s reflection on the Civil War roots of the US Thanksgiving Holiday inspired me. <p></p><p>Heather reminds us that today is ALWAYS lived in the context of a much bigger story. We didn't get here in a day. And, so far, we've lived through every single day, good or tough, and we're still here to tell about it. Sometimes, I like to reflect on the question, "<b>Is there a bigger story here</b>?" and see if there is a nugget of wisdom I might give myself from a learning or moment in a past experience. I do believe that it is in reflecting on and anchoring our learnings that we will break the adage of "history repeating itself."</p><p>We are a resilient and scrappy bunch, and I’m hopeful each of us will emerge from this season a bit kinder, more generous, and full of a love that spreads beyond any border we might create. </p><p>Onward, one and all!</p><p>V</p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-49878110419655680122020-10-17T11:12:00.000-07:002020-10-17T11:12:50.422-07:00What is “Help”?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim12YYBV5AUK5av30zhXM0N-gD29crPhDeYkBOARWmMuD4tPZJ95MjTf6BBUuVRazwnnpspvylDZPzXDZN8hLZH660zg6ShCPq-BEdwKbfi2mzKgOv2n5gETjxpUYLb1ShNWNDe4SL9QA/s1350/IMG_0847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1009" data-original-width="1350" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim12YYBV5AUK5av30zhXM0N-gD29crPhDeYkBOARWmMuD4tPZJ95MjTf6BBUuVRazwnnpspvylDZPzXDZN8hLZH660zg6ShCPq-BEdwKbfi2mzKgOv2n5gETjxpUYLb1ShNWNDe4SL9QA/w200-h149/IMG_0847.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I don’t really know who suggested I read Ayn Rand’s <b><i>“Atlas
Shrugged”</i></b> when I was a teenager.
It might have been my Dad. I do
remember conversations with him about the book.
My sister Kitty was also a fan.<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">One of my key takeaways from Rand’s writing was the idea of “self-care”
being branded as “selfish”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
somehow, those who had pursued a creative vision and amassed a certain success owed
something to those who had sat back, not pursued their best, or made excuses with
all the reasons that they were hobbled or victimized and therefore unable to advance
themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rejection of this notion
is what led Galt and his compadres to Colorado to create a community of
creatives who pulled back from allowing society to be vampires of their work,
effort, and contribution.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was an
extreme story line with all kinds of gaps, frankly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The underlying message though rings true for
me today and contributes to my desire to take 100% responsibility for the
circumstances of my life and my part in all relationships, as well as to enjoy
a life of good self-care, and to pursue creativity and adventure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And, it leaves me with a question… <b>“What responsibility do
I choose to take for those in need?”<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Pondering this has led me to think about the idea of help
and <b>“What is helpful?”</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize now
that I have stepped in to help many people and groups in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, many times, they had not asked me for
help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, they didn’t ask for the help
that I perceived they needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A story
from 2006 sticks with me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>I’m in a village about 25 miles
from Tamale, Ghana, which was a three day drive from the capital City of Accra
on the south-facing coast of Western Africa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had met up with a friend from Los Angeles who was visiting a Peace
Corps volunteer and looking at possibly funding an eco-tourism project in the region.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>We stayed in a small compound
with three mud huts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Electricity service
was on about 50% of the time, however cell phone reception was perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no running water, but each compound
had a 55-gallon drum that was filled each morning from the village well by the youngest members of
the household. Life was simple, pleasant, clean.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>One morning, I asked Rahim (the teenaged
houseboy for the Peace Corps volunteer) if I could accompany him to the well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While at first he was reluctant, I
persisted, and he agreed to have me tag along to observe the daily ritual.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>What I saw was beautiful.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>The young people of the
community each carried containers to the well and while there played a dance of
roles and connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The youngest of
the young manned the manual pumps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
older ones flirted with one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everyone contributed in the end, and disbanded after a time to carry
their containers back to their respective families.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>While we were walking back, I
noticed a standard American-Style water spigot sticking out of the ground
beside the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Rahim,” I asked, “What
is that about?”<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>“Oh, that’s been there for 20 or
30 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone from America put in a
water line from Tamale.”<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i>“Wow,” I said with a puzzled expression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He could sense my confusion and went on to
say, “Oh, it doesn’t work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hasn’t
worked for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We really never needed
it, so no one cared about fixing it.”<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Later, I connected some of the dots of Rahim’s explanation with
others in the village. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, it shifted
the story in my mind of what communities on the African continent are really about, what is
really needed, and the Western story of “help” that I had been exposed to
throughout my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>I realized that</b>
<b>my perception of “help” often comes from my perceived solution for someone
else’s life.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, when I step in to
provide my version of <b>help<i>,</i></b> I often rob the individual or group
involved of the opportunity to take responsibility for their own
circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that is 180 degrees
opposite the desire in my own life and the lives of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yikes!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, how then shall I live?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My posture today is to pull back a bit from those who in my
perception are not “all in” in their own lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By “all in”, I mean, taking responsibility for their lives and their current
circumstances, pursuing their best, seeking and creating stability and peace, before
stirring up chaos and confusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
posture may put me at odds with some of the systemic cultural issues of our
time and the long-term victimization of certain groups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may also put me at odds with those who
have accepted or become dependent on my “help”.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And, it’s a place to start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“What are your thoughts on <b>Help</b>?”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Onward!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">V<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-5591713250869395382020-09-22T11:35:00.002-07:002020-09-29T08:41:27.131-07:00Finding Joy<p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHq_JVDnmQSqS7pQ5fxTKjPf919Z1d7mwt9mFjpvHHjgqxD1o_JDT75j7RH0ALaVYzbviG7vRPWDzZirzmsFRMCFGzk48EQiAHEgb1uYu5iwGUPbd3GgrGokbqbweS0pqZ507rtRtCUeU/s2016/61686727711__731842D0-6DE2-4A38-80F3-D8188D6954E6.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHq_JVDnmQSqS7pQ5fxTKjPf919Z1d7mwt9mFjpvHHjgqxD1o_JDT75j7RH0ALaVYzbviG7vRPWDzZirzmsFRMCFGzk48EQiAHEgb1uYu5iwGUPbd3GgrGokbqbweS0pqZ507rtRtCUeU/w150-h200/61686727711__731842D0-6DE2-4A38-80F3-D8188D6954E6.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>A good friend shared an article the other day on the absent imagery of our US President and his family at ease and at play. The article reflected back on Ronald Reagan on his horse or chopping wood, the Kennedy's frolicking on the sea shore, W at his ranch, his Dad out fishing with the grandkids, and other scenes. This is important imagery for all of us. It shows balance. Humanity. Connection. Joy.</div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;">To me, it highlighted the importance of play. Especially when life sucks. And more so when we're leading the charge. Play unlocks the joy of simply being alive. Even when we have very little, or are oppressed, depressed, or stressed, play works wonders. Play draws us to our center.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG_0MLKM2HjWzX51mHJlzeJhGRMKtAKDhuIoDkoRF2WISP_mRppIJyWvyw7lB-a8wSBSqLdiJngOjXDL-8CLRnK2zjFXDr5rlg-erBlxLC-VeMQiA_Pca9guauLwK7RRl4v-eIwonQEZk/s2016/61920336237__28A76179-3E22-480F-9762-387BDC185D46.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG_0MLKM2HjWzX51mHJlzeJhGRMKtAKDhuIoDkoRF2WISP_mRppIJyWvyw7lB-a8wSBSqLdiJngOjXDL-8CLRnK2zjFXDr5rlg-erBlxLC-VeMQiA_Pca9guauLwK7RRl4v-eIwonQEZk/w150-h200/61920336237__28A76179-3E22-480F-9762-387BDC185D46.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>A walk to nowhere in particular. A morning coffee basking in the rising sun. A hike to a high spot with a view. A downhill mountain bike ride. A paintbrush and a blank canvas. Getting a sweat on <i>not </i>because you need a sculpted body but because you simply love getting a sweat on! Creating movement or art. Finding the "yahoo!"<p></p><p>The second part of play (and equally as important!) for me is to reflect on how I've played. To remember it. To hold an image of what it means to play. To feel joy. Because, according to the neuroscience folks, simply remembering a playful or joyful time lets your brain chemistry re-live it again!* Even listening (or viewing, in the case of our previous Presidents) to someone else's story of play gives us the same neuro transmitter boost. We </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3PkcjUQXte0fTXp2c2EIKYOvUMuERocgjs3BMZY-txxjQc7d0pVpNxZQlRah441_JRihsqenXZRMeN3QmmorFAZzu5atsRBF926WwNYXg-T6TKsTbddl8x8_EGy2hEv1J5WMp604DCY/s2016/IMG_3065.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3PkcjUQXte0fTXp2c2EIKYOvUMuERocgjs3BMZY-txxjQc7d0pVpNxZQlRah441_JRihsqenXZRMeN3QmmorFAZzu5atsRBF926WwNYXg-T6TKsTbddl8x8_EGy2hEv1J5WMp604DCY/w150-h200/IMG_3065.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>all feel better.<p></p><p>I've written about play before. So, consider this is a gentle reminder in the midst of a remarkable year.</p><p>Yesterday, along with two buddies, I wrapped up "The Seven Summit County Summits in One Summer Season." Of the 54 or so 14,000 foot high peaks in Colorado, seven of them are in my county and I got on top of them all this year. I love the views connecting the dots between the different mountain ranges. The lung pain and light headedness on the ascent. The sore feet and knees on the descent. I love it all. I'm stiff today and I love that too. I feel alive. And, that's how I find joy. How about you?</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD6besMJJeY_tL1cXtTn3_5zYNEBIGsrC4lwTMnHeFjjIYFi5A5gIGxFbwkN6gc11NAuMkX_j-NRHmPRmYDD_odrm7JHKc5S0Bm-Lz-pxJGW-N__tcEULRBrAIGtdxhdwgx7gx1ekPE9U/s2048/IMG_3210.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD6besMJJeY_tL1cXtTn3_5zYNEBIGsrC4lwTMnHeFjjIYFi5A5gIGxFbwkN6gc11NAuMkX_j-NRHmPRmYDD_odrm7JHKc5S0Bm-Lz-pxJGW-N__tcEULRBrAIGtdxhdwgx7gx1ekPE9U/w150-h200/IMG_3210.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>Onward!<p></p><p>V</p><p>(*Cue up Simon Sinek's "<i>Leaders Eat Last</i>")</p><p><br /></p>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-35441607192596337842020-07-28T08:04:00.000-07:002020-07-28T08:04:43.778-07:00What is Enough?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguAiH82KU1XAFyE04UN_AbBNBR7BbvuTZx9e6fYFdt9NDvSZn6x42Jj3kOWyGXee9z2y1i7W7jKjm6t1sn98xpfI9UT6n8e31jmqAqQKpq_x2MsVA4MKluUa335S4CHnTvbFYEi4UJrsI/s640/IMG_3038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguAiH82KU1XAFyE04UN_AbBNBR7BbvuTZx9e6fYFdt9NDvSZn6x42Jj3kOWyGXee9z2y1i7W7jKjm6t1sn98xpfI9UT6n8e31jmqAqQKpq_x2MsVA4MKluUa335S4CHnTvbFYEi4UJrsI/w256-h193/IMG_3038.JPG" width="256" /></a></div>In the midst of world turmoil, uncertainty, and chaos, what is enough? Enough love and belonging? Enough creativity? Enough money? Enough friends? Enough fun? Enough challenge, difficulty, or struggle? What is enough?<div><br /></div><div>I find the question difficult to answer. I've lived in a "more" culture. More is almost always better. I think about conversations with friends though in others cultures and parts of the world and realize that "more" is kind of a US thing. Hmm.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sitting at my home in Colorado looking out on the Blue River. It's beautiful as it makes the 37 mile run to the Colorado River and then westward to California. When I got here in June it was running at 1,000 CFS (cubic feet per second). Now it's running at about 200. Is that enough? Was it beautiful at 1,000? Yes. Is it beautiful at 200? Yes. Is it fulfilling its "responsibility" to supply water to the western states when running at 200? Ah. That's a different question! </div><div><br /></div><div>When I think of "enough" it brings up the difference between "needs" and "wants". I need air, and the millions of people in the west (including me!) need water. Beyond that, it seems like an awful lot of wants begin to surface. I need "shelter" but is that a tent or a single family residence? Perhaps I need a functional car to reasonably live, but do I need a new car? Is my 26" wheel mountain bike "enough" or do I need to upgrade to the 29" technology?</div><div><br /></div><div>During this pandemic, and like most everyone else, my circle of friends has shrunk considerably in terms of the people I've actually seen, shared meals, or played with. At the same time, I've connected virtually in meaningful ways with a whole host of folks around the world like I've never done before. What is enough connection? </div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps there is a values question buried beneath the "enough" question. "What is it I value in life?" I value connection. I value freedom. I value integrity and self-responsibility. Can I value those in my current "enough" place?</div><div><br /></div><div>What is enough for you?</div><div><br /></div>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-404394680242981752020-05-09T08:35:00.000-07:002020-05-09T11:21:11.864-07:00Where is Reverse?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk1gwKEk72-vX4SdjVlyHGPxKF6yjSk_UO9G9gBeXCS-7HmcUgJMWHVZmKlgbBcS4okx0X74iJ_PLcfKzukEZKwt7I_JcGlWLObnhc9AzYxmVD89QhSEnzGNKRnIxF1vm1Jshs9DHCK84/s1600/Blue+Van+%25234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="395" data-original-width="527" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk1gwKEk72-vX4SdjVlyHGPxKF6yjSk_UO9G9gBeXCS-7HmcUgJMWHVZmKlgbBcS4okx0X74iJ_PLcfKzukEZKwt7I_JcGlWLObnhc9AzYxmVD89QhSEnzGNKRnIxF1vm1Jshs9DHCK84/s200/Blue+Van+%25234.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
"Chris, I'm stoked you want the Van at your house by the beach. It makes a lot more sense than having it bake in the desert. I'm going to miss it."<br />
<br />
"Absolutely. What all do I need to know about it?" he asked.<br />
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"Well, the rebuilt engine is perfect. Everything works on the interior. The A/C blows cold which is a treat with these old Vanagons. But Chris, I have to tell you, there is no reverse."<br />
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"No reverse? What do you mean?"<br />
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"Just that. There is no reverse. You can only go forward, so be careful where you park and think first before going anywhere that you might need to back up, because you can't. There is no going back."<br />
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"Well, isn't that interesting..."<br />
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Is there a metaphor for life in there? Can we ever go back? I'm reminded of the quote that is attributed equally to Emerson, Holmes, and Einstein... "A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." How will your life move forward from this worldwide shared experience?<br />
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Onward!<br />
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VVince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-12046074640485201622020-05-02T15:25:00.000-07:002020-05-02T15:44:39.806-07:00Can I Commit without Certainty?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-CL6aV2oeFAiZQn3IsAOaPUc3pLsiylR7Ac8Y-4k1hwC7RJ3gCGZwLsStrDjQgOdO91g0GuD06Vu4hxKVD-QXAnId0lCNz0qds_W9anZ2ISiwdwdaq5VDvjszzV9ni4mI4DA3I5W9f5k/s1600/happy-new-year-2020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-CL6aV2oeFAiZQn3IsAOaPUc3pLsiylR7Ac8Y-4k1hwC7RJ3gCGZwLsStrDjQgOdO91g0GuD06Vu4hxKVD-QXAnId0lCNz0qds_W9anZ2ISiwdwdaq5VDvjszzV9ni4mI4DA3I5W9f5k/s200/happy-new-year-2020.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Find me anyone who could have predicted this current reality four months ago. Go ahead. And yet, here we are. It matters not whether you are a front line worker, an executive, an urban dweller or a rural rancher. I defy you to find anyone who would have said this was the way 2020 was going to play. Okay, so what can we learn?<br />
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<b>The future is uncertain</b>. In fact, it is always uncertain. There is no such thing as certainty when we are predicting a future. And, at this stage of life, I tend to go the other direction when anyone comes at me with certainty. After this year, even Annie singing "<i>the sun will come up, tomorrow..." </i>has a very small question mark built in! So, how then shall we live?<br />
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In 2019, when I was writing <a href="http://vincecorsaro1.blogspot.com/p/waking-up-8-questions-that-will-shift.html" target="_blank">"Waking Up: 8 Questions That Will Shift Your Life (Or Help You Do Nothing)</a>" I was not contemplating the sort of plate scraping that was going to come this year. If you've read the intro to the book, you'll know that much of what had driven my adult life came to a screeching halt in 2006. What I thought was a fairly predictable trajectory became a minefield of confusion and uncertainty. So, back in the day, I started asking myself some good questions, lived through all kinds of transitions, and took about 13 years to put pen to paper. And then 2020 hit. And my plate is scraped clean in a whole new way.<br />
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The details at this point are less important to me than recognizing the difference between what I <b><u>can </u></b>do today versus what I <b><u>cannot </u></b>do. There is a lot I can do. And there is much that I cannot do. This is true for most of us. So, while my commitment to <b><i>Good Self-Care </i></b>remains, I'm not doing yoga classes at the gym or swimming laps at the pool. I'm walking (a lot!) and getting on my mountain bike. I tried video yoga classes but soon realized that a big draw to yoga for me was the social interaction with the familiar faces that go to my gym. So, my commitment remains, but the actions change. And, that's the beauty of commitments! When I commit to a path, or a way of living, or a certain strategy, I don't need to know exactly how the action steps are going to line up. I can trust that the answers will arrive as I stay true to the commitment.<br />
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<i><b>Do Good Work </b></i>is a commitment that falls under "Good Self Care" in my life. Instead of creating flashy websites, podcasts, or selling products in my field, I've chosen to follow the path of good work. Show up. Do the gig. Give clients the best I've got. Move on. I've believed that when I do good work, more work shows up. And it's worked. And then, the world paused. All of my work went virtual. I'm living in front of a Zoom screen supporting folks I've worked with over the past four decades. Paid gigs have come to a virtual halt. While not the ideal for me, it's not bad, and I'm giving it the best I've got. <br />
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One of the questions I've been asking a lot lately is, <b>"What is the decision to be made today?"</b> Because, for many of us, there are precious few decisions that <b>can </b>be made in this moment. We're on pause. We've "eddied out" to use a rafting term. We're in a Neutral Zone, to use <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Transitions-25th-anniversary-Making/dp/0738219657" target="_blank">William Bridge's "Managing Transitions" </a>language.<br />
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The idle time might be a perfect time to become curious about my commitments. New information (a worldwide pandemic!) has shown up. How might my commitments change? What commitments remain? It's an opportunity to update the picture of myself and try out some new things without making big sweeping long-term decisions. The world will evolve forward. It always does. There is no "Reverse".<br />
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So, even in this time of uncertainty, I am finding that I remain committed <i>to be a man of curiosity, with a spirit of adventure and creativity. I remain committed to a life of good self care and authentic connection with myself and others. </i>I don't need to know how it will all play out (But, damn, I wish I did sometimes!) and I do know that I will continue to choose my next steps in alignment with those commitments. How about you?<br />
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Onward!<br />
<br />
VVince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-13557673988685565022020-04-17T09:54:00.000-07:002020-04-25T10:07:12.298-07:00Are We People First?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
My good friend Dave Gilbert asked if we could talk about maximizing the way we meet in virtual space, so he turned on the camera and this is what you get! A Big Idea right now is to remember that we are all in a shit show. And, importantly, we are people first and then leaders, parents, or whatever. We're human. When I'm wanting to react to someone in a critical or judgmental way, I can stop and ask myself, <b>"What would a more generous response be?" </b></div>
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Another Big Idea that flows from a "People First" commitment is to shift my focus to not just the content of what we're working on, but the context, or<b><i> how</i></b> we're working on it. Let's be kind.<br />
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Onward! V<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="undefined" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6tgGRRBwV5E?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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(This was my first ever podcast and I've since improved my lighting and camera angles. 😀<b> )</b><br />
<br />Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-31729811621115072192020-03-13T08:00:00.001-07:002020-03-13T08:01:37.514-07:00Is it time to go virtual?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9lCVyqLbl-Je3-jyFMGqgWCZqBvOT7sGnJMLZyy1oL9NOQgk4IDElLOFGe5p5hVJAwZ_4nQ-S9oxFCSPcT22aNnxbjhQjbkZCdhJbVQAQd5a_PB3ewmcFGf6chK2vjfieSIMi_0wRqh0/s1600/lets-talk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9lCVyqLbl-Je3-jyFMGqgWCZqBvOT7sGnJMLZyy1oL9NOQgk4IDElLOFGe5p5hVJAwZ_4nQ-S9oxFCSPcT22aNnxbjhQjbkZCdhJbVQAQd5a_PB3ewmcFGf6chK2vjfieSIMi_0wRqh0/s200/lets-talk.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Did my first virtual offsite yesterday with everyone on screen in their own homes . </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Everyone gave a quick visual walk around their space and I drew a circle with everyone's names on a sheet and held it up to my screen so they could "see" who was on their left and right. Did a breakout session in pairs and was in jammies the whole time. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I’ve done plenty of virtual meetings but this was unique because it was focused on the <b>connecting conversations </b>as opposed to <b>business content</b>. It's one thing to talk about spreadsheets and strategies, but another thing to create a safe space to clear the air, get to know one another as people first, and share courageous truths. I'm very open to hearing thoughts, ideas, and stories about how you are maximizing virtual space. Here are some thoughts compiled from friends and colleagues who work in this area: </span><a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fdrive.google.com%2Ffile%2Fd%2F16RK3C47Gq1xsZdijRaaXGCoq_saoaJrg%2Fview%3Fusp%3Dsharing%26fbclid%3DIwAR2alagc_1scQFxvyj1kn1cZzJd0RbHuN8uGcqcc29BEdcgItO8ZvMthBmc&h=AT0tLr9daC_W4nPx5yTB9a0YEmi7hbwUkOA18mO3wn_2pAv_3TUrw5x7P-IQdJPtM3rUaKpkpIZo2_Stpeo0pygTagQXdBGrP9W5vGUMjL4hnJOG9KrjUHyjNMbsCL_K4tEL68e48_zvAACfLXmSa53UYNLmjA" target="_blank">Ten Tips for Awesome Virtual Meetings</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Not ready to call it the new normal but it just might be that for a while.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Onward!</span><br />
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<br />Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-48821239991740144952020-02-15T09:42:00.000-08:002020-03-13T08:40:03.258-07:00How are You Showing up Right Now?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIYfUfj7Oatw54oabDkyggHlmhKFOeYocjwTDJhHwbzKjZ_bgIlx6FxzWii2iMxMUFQZ0vtSjxelpzVx0ZHI3Tt4suAdPtjlpLdhy1Ej8VbgTkOWtjTM5gAiz9b6F5Y5nVjY9Q4U_fZdo/s1600/IMG-5656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1492" data-original-width="1316" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIYfUfj7Oatw54oabDkyggHlmhKFOeYocjwTDJhHwbzKjZ_bgIlx6FxzWii2iMxMUFQZ0vtSjxelpzVx0ZHI3Tt4suAdPtjlpLdhy1Ej8VbgTkOWtjTM5gAiz9b6F5Y5nVjY9Q4U_fZdo/s200/IMG-5656.jpg" width="176" /></a></div>
My goal as a facilitator is to meet the group where they are at and create a space for them to get what they want. Simple. And, I like simple.<br />
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There is a subtle complexity though which is interesting and challenging. How much structure should I bring? Should I bring a “hard edge” style or a softer, more welcoming and accepting edge? I can do the hard edge… short abbreviated sentences, clear instructions, little story or emotion, just the facts. And, I can do the soft edge… let the stories unfold a bit, embrace emotion, lead from a step behind yet still lead, keep a light grip on what is coming up and where the group wants to go.<br />
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I am noticing that many groups today are desiring the softer edge. In a rapidly changing and unsettled world environment, the soft edge seems to provide a refuge, a place of comfort, a sense of support. Not a free-for-all touchy feely love fest, yet a space that says “come inside for a time… it’s pretty tough out there right now.”<br />
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It makes me wonder about how this might translate to leadership in the workplace. Is it time for the kick-ass hard edge… or is it time to take a breath and recognize that we are people first and we all have fears about what’s lurking just over the horizon?<br />
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<strong>How are you showing up with your people right now? What would support look like… for them? Have you asked recently?</strong>Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-41841775370525431422019-12-16T08:10:00.000-08:002020-03-13T08:14:41.406-07:00Coffee? Grab your IPad!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB_sdTgTgJbou5dEEFXlKDLFAJ4B7ShLgpqPYP1pBERgWXm2q6BH9_S1omqVzcimfLhIMF-vrY_jSrnT23NQsLOAswm8riu5sLAdPkXYOCtgSt1YiWabRh3HKAldXCg6tu1prNmZ8VOk4/s1600/600px-CoffeeCup.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB_sdTgTgJbou5dEEFXlKDLFAJ4B7ShLgpqPYP1pBERgWXm2q6BH9_S1omqVzcimfLhIMF-vrY_jSrnT23NQsLOAswm8riu5sLAdPkXYOCtgSt1YiWabRh3HKAldXCg6tu1prNmZ8VOk4/s200/600px-CoffeeCup.svg.png" width="200" /></a></div>
One of the challenges of living alone is there is typically no one to sit around in the morning with a cup of coffee. I have to get dressed and make my way to Koffi (really, that's the name of my local) to meet up with someone, but that kind of misses the joy of those groggy first sips in my boxers and someone to share it with.<br />
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What to do?<br />
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It started years ago when a friend and I wanted to have coffee but lived on opposite sides of the country. So, we set up a time, each went to our coffee spot, put on our headsets and talked.<br />
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Now, it's so much easier! And, I don't have to get dressed! Grab your iPad and pour a cup! Pick your video platform and enjoy!<br />
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Yesterday, it was a virtual coffee with a colleague in Germany. Last week coffee with a friend in Virginia. It's the easiest thing to do. No real agenda. Just like we're sitting at Koffi or in my kitchen. Next week, it will be a "virtual happy hour" with a group of international friends. Skip the coffee and pour a glass of prosecco.<br />
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Try it. <br />
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Onward!<br />
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VVince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-79306739682665368862019-11-23T08:14:00.001-08:002019-11-23T08:17:40.938-08:00Speaking your Courageous Truth?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The other day I asked a group, "<b><i>share a moment where you learned something meaningful about yourself or the way the world works</i></b>." For some reason, all of the stories that followed had something to do with what happened both before and after the person shared a courageous truth. Perhaps they spoke truth to bullshit. Truth to power. It wasn't exactly where I expected the conversation to go, but hey, I can make soup out of just about anything.</div>
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And we did. What came out of the conversation was a great deal of clarity on what it is that creates space for learning. A yearning for learning. A desire to chase learning. And it almost always came down to some dissatisfaction with the status quo or challenge to our integrity. But that wasn't the end. Dissatisfaction wasn't enough. It took speaking up. Showing up. Taking the shot. And then, living through the chaos that followed! </div>
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My story in this was an event that preceded me getting fired many years ago. I was young and let the person in charge know what I thought about her way of doing things. Perhaps I wasn't elegant in my presentation. She took exception to my thoughts and suggested I might be happier working elsewhere. And I was! Speaking my courageous truth to her and getting fired opened up the door to another opportunity which propelled me into a wonderful career that re-shaped my life. And, that's another story.</div>
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<b>So, what is the courageous truth you might speak today? </b></div>
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Onward!</div>
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Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-44197830870730933882019-10-02T15:57:00.000-07:002019-11-23T07:54:16.106-08:00What's Your Story?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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All of us have a story. Some of it is fun and interesting, rich and full. Some of it is hard or challenging. I have a thing for stories. <br />
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So, what's your story? Not the timeline of your life or the dates, names, and places, but the story. All that you have made your life mean. That's your story. I love the way Brene' Brown puts it: "Stories are data with a soul."<br />
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If you've never considered the fullness of your story, or are just waking up to the idea that you even have a story, or might want to spend a few minutes doing nothing but reflecting on your story, I can help!<br />
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Last year, I signed up for a writing boot camp and spent four months getting "from dream to draft". The coaches were tough and we had to post a picture of our word count every week. And, we got there. In the end, 40,000 words got plotted down, sorted, edited, and compiled into what just might be a resource you can use for a long time. A bunch of good questions. And, a whole lot of my story woven in and around along with conversations that I've had with hundreds of people over the last many years in my practice of executive coaching and leadership development.<br />
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You can <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Up-Questions-Shift-Nothing/dp/0359829643/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=Corsaro&qid=1570055023&sr=8-6" target="_blank">purchase </a>a copy in print or e-reader format, spend a couple hours perusing, and then decide to do nothing! Or, perhaps you will decide to go on the journey of a lifetime. <br />
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Onward!<br />
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<br />Vince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4681563356774967031.post-20142624645568170392019-07-07T10:43:00.000-07:002019-07-11T00:12:08.679-07:00What if you do nothing?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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She had laid out her whole story... all the background data, her assessment of the issues and how she perceived them, and how her emotions were in play. She was beginning to develop some action-step options for moving forward.<br />
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And then, one of the other forum members asked, <strong>"What if you do nothing?"</strong><br />
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Silence. Quiet filled the room.<br />
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After a pause and a slight bit of knowing laughter, she said “Well, it might just work itself out. We're doing a lot of the right things. Maybe it just needs a little time.”<br />
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Sometimes we get caught up in being "action-oriented.” We fix things by doing a bunch of stuff. And, sometimes we forget that "doing nothing" is a viable option!<br />
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Reflecting on the "do nothing trail" helps me separate the facts from the fiction in any area of my life. It helps me become an observer and lifts me out of my desire for action. Reflecting on the idea of doing nothing different from what I’m already doing helps me take stock from a different perspective.<br />
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And, doing nothing is sometimes the very best thing to do.<br />
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Onward!<br />
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VVince Corsarohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05785057436009982299noreply@blogger.com