Sunday, May 5, 2013

What Should I Do?

"Frankly, I'd be happy if you all just told me what to do here.  I'm tired, frustrated, and just want it fixed," she said.

And my 100% guaranteed response when someone asks me to tell them what to do... "Okay.  But first, what is it you really want?"

"I already told you I want the situation fixed!"

"And, if the situation is fixed, what will you have?"

"Well, I'll have peace of mind!  I'll know that things are going to be okay!  I'll know that I can be the leader I need to be!!!"

"Ah.  So that's what you really want.  Peace of mind.  Knowing things are going to be okay.  Affirming your beliefs as a leader.  Is there more?"

"Well, I also just want to have a team that I can work with.  I want a team that I trust."

"Yeah.  I get that.  And to have a team that you can trust, what level of trust do you want in yourself?"

"Ha!  You're tricky.  You're suggesting that what I really want is to trust myself."

"Did I say that? It does sound though like that is what you really want... to trust yourself to make good  decisions and take appropriate action.  Is that accurate?"

"Yes. I'm just not sure how to do that in this case."

"Okay.  So it sounds like you want to build trust in yourself.  So, why don't you ask the forum for advice on how to build trust in yourself to make your own decisions about how to fix your  situation.  How does that land for you?"

"Like work."

"Yep."  And, on it goes.

Am I Listening?

A while back, someone said to me, “Wow, Vince, you’re such a good listener!”  It made me wonder what it’s like to be a bad listener!  So, I ...