Thursday, September 15, 2016

Who do you want to be?

Ten years ago today I was released from the executive cabinet at Y-USA and handed a severance check. It was 2006, I was 47, my youngest daughter Janelle had just left for college, and our divorce had been final for about 6 months. The plate of my life had been scraped clean.
Two phone calls came soon after which set the course for the next ten years. One was from Paul Andresen, a good YMCA CEO friend, who asked if I would do some consulting work for him. The other was from Jim Warner, a Boulder-friend and mentor who asked if I would come co-facilitate an executive retreat with him. I said yes to both. And, while I applied for a couple YMCA positions early on, I haven't looked back. My long-time strategy has been "do good work" and follow the thread of opportunity from one gig to the next. I've always believed that good work leads to good work. Take care of the people and the rest tends to sort out. It worked for 26 years in the Y and still works today.
Relationally, the ten years could not have been more unexpected. In 2006 I was committed to the single life. Connections with a few good friends along the way helped me open up my thinking and accept myself in a whole new way. Coming out and the resulting shift in energy and focus in my life propelled me in ways I never expected. Six years with Rocky was a learning experience I've written about before. Being single again at 57 is unexpected, and I'm okay.
Going forward, I've been asked something like "What do you want to be doing in ten years?" and I tend to shift the question to "Who do I want to be in 10 years?"  At this stage, it's a bit less about the doing, and more about the being. And, I want to be a man of curiosity, with a spirit of adventure and creativity. I want to live a life of good self-care and create a positive environment around me wherever I go. I want to connect to my deeper self and be with others as they connect with themselves. There's always more to do.

Am I Listening?

A while back, someone said to me, “Wow, Vince, you’re such a good listener!”  It made me wonder what it’s like to be a bad listener!  So, I ...