Monday, December 29, 2014

What is the truth?

This morning I was feeling sluggish.  Heavy.  I've eaten way more bread, pasta, cookies, and cakes in the last two weeks than anyone deserves.

When I'm feeling this way I resist stepping on the scale.  My commitment is to live at 190 +/- five pounds.  The last time I checked two weeks ago it was an all-time high of 199.  I don't ever want to see 200 so I simply stopped checking.

But this morning, something compelled me to step on to the scale and get ready for the inner barrage of criticism and justification.  I didn't want to do it, but I knew I needed to.  I needed to know that I had tipped 200.  I needed to see the results of all those biscote.  I needed to step on to the whipping post for some self-flagellation.  Bad Vince.

So I stepped on.  Wait.  192?  Can't be.  Step off.  Step back on.  192.  Huh.

So, the truth is, I feel sluggish, heavy, and simply bad for the way I have eaten my way through the last two weeks.  But, the data shows that I am seven pounds lighter.  What's is the truth?

Is this a trick question?

No.  Because the truth is... I felt sluggish, heavy and bad.  That's the truth.  The FACT that I weigh seven pounds less than two weeks ago is really un-important.  My emotional experience is my truth. 

Now, the truth is also that when the scale said 192, my mood shifted.  I smiled.  I felt less sluggish. 

What I am learning is that much of what we call "truth" are really "beliefs."  Things we believe to be true.  I was believing that I was heavier and my emotions followed with feelings of guilt and slothfulness.  What changed?

Is there a nugget here?

Am I Listening?

A while back, someone said to me, “Wow, Vince, you’re such a good listener!”  It made me wonder what it’s like to be a bad listener!  So, I ...