Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How Does it Serve You?

"I get that you want that. But, how does it serve you to stay right where you're at?"

"It doesn't serve me! I hate it!"

"Hmm. Well... if it didn't serve you somehow... perhaps in a way that protects you from something bigger or darker... than you would have likely gotten what you wanted a long time ago."

"Go on."

"It's your turn. How does it serve you to not change?"

"I don't have to fail. If I never really commit, than I never really fail."

"So, it sounds like you have your life set up so you don't get what you want because you don't take the risk of failing?"

"I guess so. And, the next question you're going to ask is, "Am I willing to take the risk? and the answer is Yes. I want this. And I am willing to take the risk of failure... because to do nothing, or to stay in this spin cycle, is not working."


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Who Has My Back?

Me: "Back! You're killing me. It's my first day on the slopes this year... give me a break!"
Back: "Well, it's about time you noticed. You've been trying to ignore me the last couple hours."
Me: "Okay. You've got my attention. What's going on?"
Back: "Well, you're carrying some extra baggage."
Me: "No! I'm within 4 pounds of my ideal fighting weight!"
Back: "Not that kind of baggage. Look over your shoulder. You're carrying Jim, and your dad, and Dave, Keith, Tony, Kaley, Chris, Glen, Ted, Brad... all your enouragers, critics, butt-kickers and all their expectations and desires for you. They're adding a lot of weight to our skiing today. You're worried more about what they would think about your skiing than enjoying the day of skiing!"
Me: "Whoa."
Back: "Yeah, whoa. What do you want to do?"
Me: "Well, first of all I want to thank you. Not for being such a pain, but for raising the flag on what's going on. And, I want to take a breath here and send some love your way."
Back: "Ah. I'm relaxing a bit now."
Me: "And, I'm going to relax a bit too. It's just a day on the slopes. And, it's beautiful. There is no need to manage the story for anyone else. I may take a break. I don't really need to ski 25,000 vertical feet today. It's my first day on the slopes. Perhaps we could be a bit more gentle with each other."
Back: "Perfect."
Me: "Thanks."

Am I Listening?

A while back, someone said to me, “Wow, Vince, you’re such a good listener!”  It made me wonder what it’s like to be a bad listener!  So, I ...