Friday, June 26, 2015

Love Wins

When in doubt on how to respond or handle a situation, I can always land on "How might love win in this moment?"

Shifting my perspective to "Love Wins" opens up my thinking.  It raises my consciousness to a higher level.  It gets me out of any narrow or fear-based thinking and finds solid ground.  It helps me discover the positive intent.

The Supreme Court decision today seems to be doing this for us as a Nation.  The court said Love Wins.

Many years ago I wanted to fire a lifeguard because she insisted on wearing a nose ring.  In a random airplane conversation I shared this incredulous story with the guy next to me.  I was hoping for support and a common battle cry!  But, he challenged my thinking.  He asked if I was generally a loving and merciful person. He challenged me to move to higher ground and see her simply as a person with a different viewpoint.  Her nose ring didn't inflict harm on me.  It didn't mean I had anything less or more.  She kept lifeguarding.  And I learned a good lesson. 

Love wins.

Monday, June 1, 2015

What is it you are committed to?

"It's all the blaming and complaining!"

"Silos.  Everyone just stays in their silo."

"I can't get a straight answer from anyone!!!"

"Wow.  That's some tough stuff," I said.  "What would it look like to take 100% responsibility for the results you are getting?"

"These aren't our results!  This is what everyone else is doing!"

They had stepped into my trap.  You see, I have this crazy belief that whatever results we are getting in life happen to be a reflection of our commitments.  And sometimes, those commitments are unconscious. 

"Here's what I want you to do.  Own these results as something you are committed to."  Blank stares.  For example, say "I am committed to perpetuating the blaming and complaining."

"What?!?" they cried.  "Try it," I said.

Okay, says the VP of Engineering.  "I am committed to the blame game.  I don't like saying that."

"I know," I said.  "Now, read me a few pages out of the training manual you have written for the blame game."

The VP of Engineering grimaced, and said with slumped shoulders, "Well, you tell everyone that it's the corporate office that wouldn't approve the expense.  And then, you be sure the team knows that if marketing had just done their part we wouldn't be getting blamed.  Okay Vince.  I get it.  I hate you."

What did he get?!?  Perhaps, he began to understand how we actually do things that produce the results we are getting in life.  Sometimes the things we do don't make sense, but when we dig deeper we find that the crazy things we do somehow protect us from vulnerability, criticism, exposure or other unpleasant stuff.  So, we do things unconsciously. 

The good news is that once we become conscious of it we can choose a different path.  Unless, we'd rather just blame and complain, that is.



Am I Listening?

A while back, someone said to me, “Wow, Vince, you’re such a good listener!”  It made me wonder what it’s like to be a bad listener!  So, I ...