So, besides an overwhelming sense of gratitude and
appreciation for the chance to sail in the Whitsunday Islands a few years ago,
I also remember observing a wonderful leadership dynamic play out.
Remember learning the difference between “hard skills”
and “soft skills”? The hard skills are
the techniques, tactical steps, protocols, procedures, and other action steps
required to get a task completed. The
soft skills are the relational tools employed along the way.
There were two crew on the boat and fifteen guests. The skipper had just completed his sailing
certification after many years of captaining his own commercial fishing
boat. The “hostie” (everything in Oz ends in “ie” by the way)
was a certified dive instructor, first aid instructor, graduate of a
prestigious US east coast university and probably three other
certificates. If I were to rate “hard
skills”, the skipper was on the low side of competent (as evidenced by the sail
not being quite “up” on our departure and the funny 360 degree jibe turn he tried
to complete) and the hostie was (at least on paper) well certified.
Hmm.
My observation though was that the hostie was a train
wreck. Zero social skills. She got the meals out on time but couldn’t be
bothered with engaging with the guests… and when she did it was to regale her
exploits on various boats and adventures around the world. There were no introductions, no “breaking the
ice”, no space to create any sort of community on the small boat. After a few hours the guests all pretty much
left her alone. The skipper however was
an affable kiwi who quickly dispensed with the “do’s and don’ts” and had a keen
interest in whatever it was you were interested in. He had a short story for every topic and would
skillfully open the door for the guest to share more. And, they did.
It’s a balance isn’t it?
The hard skills have to be solid.
Safety first. We have to know
what we’re doing. But it’s the soft
skills that make the world work. It’s
how we connect as people. In the bar after the trip, I asked the skipper if he was open to some feedback. He said “sure, mate!” and I invited his curiosity about gaining even greater value out his natural relational skills with a few good questions along the way… he was enthralled… and we came up with a list:
- How about inviting some basic introductions? Name, hometown, how long you’ve been walking about?
- Perhaps a little pre-thinking of hopes for the trip… “So, what’s going to make this trip a win for you?”
- Conversation starters like… “The scariest place you’ve ever been…” or “The story behind your favorite bodily scar…”
- And at the end of the day, perhaps “what worked well today? What could have been better?”
Onward!
