Sometimes it is helpful to take a step back and ask myself,
“what really happened?” What I mean by “really” is… what was the
visible, verifiable, observable, recordable by a drone flying overhead thing that occurred in real time?
Because, my mind is very good at making up stories. I can take a set of facts and have a field
day writing a story of what I wanted to make whatever happen mean.
So, on August 23, I was with my Dad when he stopped
breathing. For several hours before, I
had been quietly saying to him in his un-responsive place, “Dad, your job here
is to breathe. Just breathe. And, you’re almost there. You can do it.” At 9:15pm he was breathing. At 9:20pm he was not breathing. A few minutes later, two nurses came into his
room in the Care Center and declared that he was no longer alive. Those were the verifiable and visible facts.
And...
I have a belief that there is an invisible realm. We can see neither our “mind” nor our “spirit.” They are invisible and non-locatable. So, while my Dad’s physical, observable, body
was no longer judged to be alive, I make up a story that his invisible parts
are very much still alive and well. Actually,
in my story, my Dad’s invisible parts are better off than they have been since he
started slipping into dementia years ago.
And further, like many many people before me who have reported similar experiences,
there was the briefest moment in my dad’s passing where I believe (and, beliefs
are just another story I make up) that the invisible realm became visible to
him. I saw it in his eyes. I saw it in the smile that spread across his
face like the one that always followed that first bite of the McDonald’s ice
cream sundaes I used to sneak in for him.
“That’s goooooood” he would say in his gravely voice. He was seeing beyond what I or any of us on
this side of the line can see. There was
no fear. Only love. And, it was good.
Love Wins. It’s the title of Rob Bell’s groundbreaking
book. And, it’s a theme for my
life. After 9 ½ years in the care center
and perhaps a decade of decline before, Love won with my Dad. The visible gave way to the invisible and it
was good. Many raised in the Christian tradition
are a bit sheepish about suggesting that God might win the day with every
single life that transitions out of the physical and visible realm. It got Rob fired as a megachurch pastor. I know I was skeptical. It’s a scandalous idea when you’ve been taught
to think in terms of eternal heaven and eternal hell. And today, I’m here to say, Love Wins. Every time.
