One of my key takeaways from Rand’s writing was the idea of “self-care”
being branded as “selfish”. That
somehow, those who had pursued a creative vision and amassed a certain success owed
something to those who had sat back, not pursued their best, or made excuses with
all the reasons that they were hobbled or victimized and therefore unable to advance
themselves. The rejection of this notion
is what led Galt and his compadres to Colorado to create a community of
creatives who pulled back from allowing society to be vampires of their work,
effort, and contribution. It was an
extreme story line with all kinds of gaps, frankly. The underlying message though rings true for
me today and contributes to my desire to take 100% responsibility for the
circumstances of my life and my part in all relationships, as well as to enjoy
a life of good self-care, and to pursue creativity and adventure.
And, it leaves me with a question… “What responsibility do
I choose to take for those in need?”
Pondering this has led me to think about the idea of help
and “What is helpful?” I realize now
that I have stepped in to help many people and groups in my life. And, many times, they had not asked me for
help. Or, they didn’t ask for the help
that I perceived they needed. A story
from 2006 sticks with me.
I’m in a village about 25 miles
from Tamale, Ghana, which was a three day drive from the capital City of Accra
on the south-facing coast of Western Africa.
I had met up with a friend from Los Angeles who was visiting a Peace
Corps volunteer and looking at possibly funding an eco-tourism project in the region.
We stayed in a small compound
with three mud huts. Electricity service
was on about 50% of the time, however cell phone reception was perfect. There was no running water, but each compound
had a 55-gallon drum that was filled each morning from the village well by the youngest members of
the household. Life was simple, pleasant, clean.
One morning, I asked Rahim (the teenaged
houseboy for the Peace Corps volunteer) if I could accompany him to the well. While at first he was reluctant, I
persisted, and he agreed to have me tag along to observe the daily ritual.
What I saw was beautiful.
The young people of the
community each carried containers to the well and while there played a dance of
roles and connection. The youngest of
the young manned the manual pumps. The
older ones flirted with one another.
Everyone contributed in the end, and disbanded after a time to carry
their containers back to their respective families.
While we were walking back, I
noticed a standard American-Style water spigot sticking out of the ground
beside the road. “Rahim,” I asked, “What
is that about?”
“Oh, that’s been there for 20 or
30 years. Someone from America put in a
water line from Tamale.”
“Wow,” I said with a puzzled expression. He could sense my confusion and went on to
say, “Oh, it doesn’t work. It hasn’t
worked for years. We really never needed
it, so no one cared about fixing it.”
Later, I connected some of the dots of Rahim’s explanation with
others in the village. And, it shifted
the story in my mind of what communities on the African continent are really about, what is
really needed, and the Western story of “help” that I had been exposed to
throughout my life. I realized that
my perception of “help” often comes from my perceived solution for someone
else’s life. And, when I step in to
provide my version of help, I often rob the individual or group
involved of the opportunity to take responsibility for their own
circumstances. And that is 180 degrees
opposite the desire in my own life and the lives of others. Yikes!
So, how then shall I live?
My posture today is to pull back a bit from those who in my
perception are not “all in” in their own lives.
By “all in”, I mean, taking responsibility for their lives and their current
circumstances, pursuing their best, seeking and creating stability and peace, before
stirring up chaos and confusion. This
posture may put me at odds with some of the systemic cultural issues of our
time and the long-term victimization of certain groups. It may also put me at odds with those who
have accepted or become dependent on my “help”.
And, it’s a place to start.
“What are your thoughts on Help?”
Onward!
V
