The facts are I’ve been working independently as a solo facilitator since 2006. Before that, I spent 25 years climbing through a career in organizational leadership development. I’m turning 65 in 2024. I can cover a year of living expenses without dipping into my retirement savings. My kids are well launched and don’t look to me for much more than loving on their kids now and then. Those are a few of the facts.
The stories I make up are many.
· “You’re old and it’s time to turn it over to a
rising generation.”
· “You’re young and have plenty of fuel in the
tank to create impact.”
· “Everyone only knows you in your “Leader” persona. They may not like you if you leave that
persona behind.”
· “You have been doing the same thing so long you
have completely lost touch with your earlier desires, passions, and interests.”
· “Your body might stick with you, or it might
have a different idea. One never knows.”
· “You don’t know what to do with yourself when
there is nothing you have to do. You’ll become a slug on the couch and likely die a
lonely death face down in a gutter.”
I could go on.
When I think of all that, I feel anxious.
What I want is to curate a full life and be open to the uncertain adventure. I want a world grounded in love and belonging.
Is there more? Of course there is more!
For the most part, I have the world I want. My circles extend across the globe and in my hometowns. I have good people around me who accept that I am not “full time” anywhere or with anyone. My world is diverse and stimulating. The “magnitude of change” between my current state and any desired future is very small. The big question comes as I allow my current state to wind down and invite a moment standing at the precipice of the unknown.
What I know about myself in this is that I am almost always optimistic. I don’t camp long on the “Island of Victims” and have a track record of taking stock, adjusting, pivoting, and making the best of the circumstances that are in front of me. Why I think that might change is rooted in the difference of “internally motivated change” and “externally forced change.” Most of my transition moments have been driven by external events. I got fired. A relationship ended. My kids grew up. I adjusted to those realities.
This time is different. I am creating the change. I am bringing curiosity to what 65+ wants to look like. And it scares me. I’ve had enough health issues to know that capacity changes sometimes in the blink of an eye. If I let go of the fear and anxiety there is a risk that I will flounder, and there is the possibility that I will thrive and discover a whole new path. I choose to take the risk.
What then will guide my steps? Here are a few of my ideas.
· Be gentle. Live the life I am living and adjust to the
reality of a “mostly blank” calendar. Capture
learnings in the quiet moments.
· Look at this as a series of experiments. Design low-cost probes. Take some risk. Do some things differently than I have in the
past and intentionally learn from the results.
· Connect with others on similar journeys. Observe.
Engage. Stay curious and suspend
judgment on anyone else’s choices or pathways.
· Have fun.
When feeing anxious make the shift to appreciation. Re-focus on what I have over what I don’t
have. Find the joy in every circumstance.
