Are We People First?

My good friend Dave Gilbert asked if we could talk about maximizing the way we meet in virtual space, so he turned on the camera and this is what you get!  A Big Idea right now is to remember that we are all in a shit show.  And, importantly, we are people first and then leaders, parents, or whatever.  We're human.  When I'm wanting to react to someone in a critical or judgmental way, I can stop and ask myself, "What would a more generous response be?" 

Another Big Idea that flows from a "People First" commitment is to shift my focus to not just the content of what we're working on, but the context, or how we're working on it.  Let's be kind.

Onward!  V

(This was my first ever podcast and I've since improved my lighting and camera angles. 😀 )

Is it time to go virtual?

Did my first virtual offsite yesterday with everyone on screen in their own homes . Everyone gave a quick visual walk around their space and I drew a circle with everyone's names on a sheet and held it up to my screen so they could "see" who was on their left and right. Did a breakout session in pairs and was in jammies the whole time. 

I’ve done plenty of virtual meetings but this was unique because it was focused on the connecting conversations as opposed to business content.  It's one thing to talk about spreadsheets and strategies, but another thing to create a safe space to clear the air, get to know one another as people first, and share courageous truths.  I'm very open to hearing thoughts, ideas, and stories about how you are maximizing virtual space.  Here are some thoughts compiled from friends and colleagues who work in this area:  Ten Tips for Awesome Virtual Meetings

Not ready to call it the new normal but it just might be that for a while.

Onward!

V

How are You Showing up Right Now?

My goal as a facilitator is to meet the group where they are at and create a space for them to get what they want. Simple. And, I like simple.

There is a subtle complexity though which is interesting and challenging. How much structure should I bring? Should I bring a “hard edge” style or a softer, more welcoming and accepting edge? I can do the hard edge… short abbreviated sentences, clear instructions, little story or emotion, just the facts. And, I can do the soft edge… let the stories unfold a bit, embrace emotion, lead from a step behind yet still lead, keep a light grip on what is coming up and where the group wants to go.

I am noticing that many groups today are desiring the softer edge. In a rapidly changing and unsettled world environment, the soft edge seems to provide a refuge, a place of comfort, a sense of support. Not a free-for-all touchy feely love fest, yet a space that says “come inside for a time… it’s pretty tough out there right now.”

It makes me wonder about how this might translate to leadership in the workplace. Is it time for the kick-ass hard edge… or is it time to take a breath and recognize that we are people first and we all have fears about what’s lurking just over the horizon?

How are you showing up with your people right now? What would support look like… for them? Have you asked recently?

Coffee? Grab your IPad!

One of the challenges of living alone is there is typically no one to sit around in the morning with a cup of coffee.  I have to get dressed and make my way to Koffi (really, that's the name of my local) to meet up with someone, but that kind of misses the joy of those groggy first sips in my boxers and someone to share it with.

What to do?

It started years ago when a friend and I wanted to have coffee but lived on opposite sides of the country.  So, we set up a time, each went to our coffee spot, put on our headsets and talked.

Now, it's so much easier!  And, I don't have to get dressed!  Grab your iPad and pour a cup!  Pick your video platform and enjoy!

Yesterday, it was a virtual coffee with a colleague in Germany.  Last week coffee with a friend in Virginia.  It's the easiest thing to do.  No real agenda.  Just like we're sitting at Koffi or in my kitchen.  Next week, it will be a "virtual happy hour" with a group of international friends.  Skip the coffee and pour a glass of prosecco.

Try it.

Onward!

V

Speaking your Courageous Truth?

The other day I asked a group, "share a moment where you learned something meaningful about yourself or the way the world works."  For some reason, all of the stories that followed had something to do with what happened both before and after the person shared a courageous truth.  Perhaps they spoke truth to bullshit.  Truth to power.  It wasn't exactly where I expected the conversation to go, but hey, I can make soup out of just about anything.

And we did.  What came out of the conversation was a great deal of clarity on what it is that creates space for learning.  A yearning for learning.  A desire to chase learning.  And it almost always came down to some dissatisfaction with the status quo or challenge to our integrity.  But that wasn't the end.  Dissatisfaction wasn't enough.  It took speaking up.  Showing up.  Taking the shot.  And then, living through the chaos that followed!  

My story in this was an event that preceded me getting fired many years ago.  I was young and let the person in charge know what I thought about her way of doing things.  Perhaps I wasn't elegant in my presentation.  She took exception to my thoughts and suggested I might be happier working elsewhere.  And I was!  Speaking my courageous truth to her and getting fired opened up the door to another opportunity which propelled me into a wonderful career that re-shaped my life.  And, that's another story.

So, what is the courageous truth you might speak today?  

Onward!

V

What's Your Story?

All of us have a story.  Some of it is fun and interesting, rich and full.  Some of it is hard or challenging.  I have a thing for stories.

So, what's your story?  Not the timeline of your life or the dates, names, and places, but the story.  All that you have made your life mean.  That's your story.  I love the way Brene' Brown puts it: "Stories are data with a soul."

If you've never considered the fullness of your story, or are just waking up to the idea that you even have a story, or might want to spend a few minutes doing nothing but reflecting on your story, I can help!

Last year, I signed up for a writing boot camp and spent four months getting "from dream to draft".  The coaches were tough and we had to post a picture of our word count every week.  And, we got there.  In the end, 40,000 words got plotted down, sorted, edited, and compiled into what just might be a resource you can use for a long time.  A bunch of good questions.  And, a whole lot of my story woven in and around along with conversations that I've had with hundreds of people over the last many years in my practice of executive coaching and leadership development.

You can purchase a copy in print or e-reader format, spend a couple hours perusing, and then decide to do nothing!  Or, perhaps you will decide to go on the journey of a lifetime.

Onward!

V

What if you do nothing?

She had laid out her whole story... all the background data, her assessment of the issues and how she perceived them, and how her emotions were in play.  She was beginning to develop some action-step options for moving forward.

And then, one of the other forum members asked, "What if you do nothing?"

Silence. Quiet filled the room.

After a pause and a slight bit of knowing laughter, she said “Well, it might just work itself out. We're doing a lot of the right things. Maybe it just needs a little time.”

Sometimes we get caught up in being "action-oriented.”  We fix things by doing a bunch of stuff.  And, sometimes we forget that "doing nothing" is a viable option!

Reflecting on the "do nothing trail" helps me separate the facts from the fiction in any area of my life.  It helps me become an observer and lifts me out of my desire for action.  Reflecting on the idea of doing nothing different from what I’m already doing helps me take stock from a different perspective.

And, doing nothing is sometimes the very best thing to do.

Onward!

V